ZERO ZAPATERA: Julie To Jury, Ralph, Steve At Bat Against Matt
“A Mystery Package” – Matt starts to lose it, but pulls it together long enough to knock Julie out of the game with Mike. When Matt flashes Andrea a dirty look she starts to feel guilty and unknowingly lays the groundwork for her ouster. But Ometepe sticks together and votes out Ralph, then Steve after a surprise Immunity Challenge and vote at Tribal Council.
Congratulations, Ashley Underwood! You just won the coveted Most Infuriating Survivor Contestant of the Year award! You join a long line of distinguished recipients: Clay Jordan from Survivor: Thailand. Osten Taylor from Survivor: Pearl Islands. Sierra Reed from Survivor: Tocantins. NaOnka Mixon from Survivor: Nicaragua. Almost the entire cast of Survivor: Fiji. These honorees all earned their titles in different ways. There’s no magic formula for success in this department, just the natural born ability to infuriate viewers beyond belief. And my, was Ashley infuriating last night.
Perhaps I am particularly infuriated because Ashley was my pre-season pick to win the game. And who knows, she may still do it. But she certainly is not playing the game. Not since Jan in Survivor: Thailand have I seen someone so content to sit back and do absolutely nothing. It’s actually worse than doing nothing. It’s the outright refusal to do something. Ashley has been aggressive in her pursuit of unaggressive gameplay. She said it herself in this latest episode, noting that “Rob’s very smart and he’s played this game before. And so we’re kind of taking our lead from him.” Really? We hadn’t noticed!
Then, Steve went over and tried his best to explain to her and Natalie that Rob would definitely be taking Phillip to the finals instead of them because no one would vote for Phillip. He suggested the three women join up with him in voting off Rob. “That actually would work if we wanted Andrea in on it,” Ashley said to Natalie. Wait, has she finally seen the light? Grown a spine? Decided to make a move? “But we don’t.” Oh, well. But wait, it gets worse!
Not only did she refuse to even consider the option, but she then immediately ran over to her lord and master Boston Rob and told him how Steve had approached her and said, “‘Our two votes are going for Rob so if you three girls want to make a big move now’s the time, blah, blah, blah.’ Which obviously we didn’t entertain.” Obviously. This easily had to be the most frustrating scene to watch all season long. Finally we saw a possible glimmer of someone actually not letting Rob walk all over them, and instead they laid down on the ground and put a carpet over themselves just to make his walk all that much smoother. I’m not sure which part of her quote is worse, the part where she equates Steve’s words of wisdom to “blah, blah, blah,” or where she says she “obviously didn’t entertain” the suggestion. Again, obviously.
It’s a good old fashioned lumberjack log rolling duel challenge for immunity plus a reward of cake and milk. Mmmm, cake. Grant and Rob are first, Grant wins. Then Ashley vs. Andrea, Ashley wins. Then Steve and Ralph, Ralph wins. Finally Natalie vs. Phillip, Phillip wins.
Second round is Grant/Ashley and Ralph/Phillip, with Grant and Ralph advancing to the finals. Grant wins, which is not a shock. He’s like … a specimen of manliness. To his credit, Ralph had him on the ropes at one point, but he recovered and won.
Grant gets to share the cake with two people, so he chooses Rob and Andrea. Huh. Then Jeff hands out a package for Tribal Council. Grant says he chose Andrea so that she feels comfortable in their alliance and doesn’t see it coming if they vote her out. Sneaky.
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