‘Cook Islands’ Gets Cooking, Sekou Gets Sacked

“I Can Forgive Her, but I Don’t Have to Because She Screwed with My Chickens” Survivor: Cook Islands kicks off as the oft-discussed racial division turns out to be little more than marketing hype. Manihiki loses out on fire distribution and sends home Sekou, and Rarotonga loses out on a couple of chicken dinners thanks to Jessica’s carelessness. Here’s our analysis…

White people are boring
So we’ve got 4 tribes divided into 4 distinct groups – Asian, Black, Hispanic, and Mind-Numbingly Dull. Raro actually congratulated themselves for making it to camp and even “toast victory” before participating in a challenge or even setting up camp. Hey, when you set your goals low, they are that much easier to reach. We’re just wondering – why they didn’t have a ticker tape parade for Raro’s impressive third place Immunity Challenge finish?

Manihiki furthers the split with gender alliances and boots Sekou
Sekou screwed up by going up against a tight alliance of women – biiiiig mistake. No man has ever come unscathed from such an encounter. And has anyone in the history of this show been able to start fire by rubbing sticks together?

Class Clown: Cao Boi
Cao Boi is the new Shane…except whereas Shane was influenced by nicotine withdrawal and a profound attachment to his son, Cao Boi is just kooky. But at least he’s interesting, and he piqued Yul’s interest by getting rid of Brad’s headache using the ancient and forgotten Vietnamese healing ritual of…pinching the guy’s forehead until it’s really red.

Jessica becomes the first goat
Jessica is the self-proclaimed “alternative option” for Raro, and she’s right – she provides the alternative to being well-fed. Her losing the chickens was the biggest boneheaded move we’ve seen in a while. The good news is that the way things are going, Raro will be able to recapture them easily by boring them to death.


  • Ozzy – Probably the only person in a cast full of actors that we’ll see actually climb a tree.
  • Cao Boi – Not many people can pinch someone’s forehead until it’s red and have opinions about them changed…favorably.


  • Jessica – How does she not know the chickens are under that crate?
  • Stephannie – She’s served her purpose, and Rebecca/Sundra aren’t stupid enough to get rid of the only man next…are they?

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