ARMING THE ENEMY: Free Idol handouts don’t count for Courtney
“Survivor History” The Villains break their challenge loss streak and win a huge dinner, and Russell encourages the Heroes’ erroneous assumption that he is on the outs from a powerful all-girls alliance, prompting J.T. to plan and execute an incredible plan to arm Russell with his Hidden Immunity Idol and vote out Parvati, much to the amusement of Russell’s alliance.
There is so much to dig into with this episode of Survivor: Heroes vs Villains. I could kick-start a meaty discussion on the merits of Outback Steakhouse, but I feel such a column could only be written by number one Outback Steakhouse fan Sandra Diaz-Twine, who not only ate there twice a week with her husband but also birthed her first born in the kitchen and later christened the child over potato skins and pints of Foster’s Lager. I could poke fun at Rupert for taking the Heroes thing a little too seriously by walking around with a dorky green cape. I could wax poetic about the hidden immunity idol clue not being the first thing to get into both Parvati’s underwear and Danielle’s cleavage. Or I could announce the launch of my new business venture: a fashion line of affordable robes created from the mind of Benjamin “Coach” Wade and titled ConfucNietzscheZu. (Perhaps you saw him at Tribal Council modeling our logo while in a pseudo Buddhist Monk pose with his legs crossed and praying. Retail price: $19.99, or wherever dignity is sold.)
But I’m not going to write about any of that. Instead we’re gonna do something a bit different this week. We’re going to examine where J.T. giving Russell the Heroes’ hidden immunity ranks on the list of dumbest Survivor moves ever. To do so, we have to start by looking at the generally accepted five stupidest moves ever before this happened. Let’s count it down.
High Steaks: Did cattle man J.T. leave his brain back at the ranch? He might as well be Parvati batting his eyelashes at Russell. How could the Survivor champion make such a monumental mistake? In addition to handing their opponents a dinner at the Product Placement Steakhouse, the Heroes tribe invented a nonexistent Villains all-girl alliance—J.T. even bet his life on it (I don’t think he values his life enough, especially when it comes to gambling)—and played the fool to King Russell. Instead of offering His Highness a little frankincense or maybe some myrrh, J.T. sacrificed his Immunity Idol—worth more than gold in this game.
The Queen P: Now we know for certain who’s really in charge. If Russell had found the second hidden immunity idol at camp, he would have run straight to Parvati with it—and probably brag about it to the rest of his tribemates. With her quiet power, Queen Parvati is virtually “running a crazy women’s alliance” while “the king does what the queen says.”
When the teams line up for the reward challenge, the Heroes note that Coach is gone and comment on the apparent all-girl alliance that is picking off the men of the Villains tribe.
In the challenge Courtney’s “skinny chick” physique finally pays off in a balancing challenge that favors the lightest players. The Villains outlast the Heroes to win the reward.
At their feast Parvati finds a clue to the immunity idol in her napkin. She shows Danielle, but they don't tell Russell. They sneak away to quickly find the idol. Parvati likes the idea of keeping Russell out of the loop and making him squirm.
Only Amanda had some sense, telling us that “it’s really crazy to give Russell the idol” because “we don’t know” what’s going on, and Russell “could be in with the girls.” I’m not sure why Amanda never gets any credit, because she’s smart and usually on top of the game play.
JT also wrote what seemed like a note a fifth-grader would pass to someone he has a crush on, a note that demanded Russell “destroy this right when you finish reading!” It included the Heroes’ hidden immunity idol and a request that Russell vote out Parvati.
What are your thoughts on this episode? Share them in the comments below!
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